Florida GOP Mob Capo Arrested for Looting from the Party of Looters

Shame about that nasty cold sore.

Yeah but without the sore, he sure does have a purty mouth. He might have to do some “praying” in prison, with that purty mouth.

Oh, FCS, the real capo di tutti capo in Florida is Jeb, Jeb is having this guy put away for having the temerity to try to cut in on Jeb’s action.

I like the phrase “a non-stop bacchanalia that was too Caligulan even for the party of oligarchic excess” because it implies that this man married and fucked a horse without really going there all the way.

It is these touches of restraint that are the hallmark of a brilliant Blogurnalist. Bravo, sir!

So: no honor among thieves, then?

This is not pretty. I want pretty.

@Benedick: Not pretty? Why, you can see he used to be cute, once, look at him, he’s the image of Rip Taylor, really, Rip Taylor with a cold sore.

Breaking news!!!!!11!!1

Ted Haggard is going to start a new church!!!! (I did not see this coming). Everyone is welcome. Up to a point.

However, he did emphasize that there will be no gay marriages performed in his church, because “God’s ideal plan for a marriage is the union of a man and a woman.” Haggard added that it’s also “God’s ideal that all of us have our weight under control,” but that doesn’t always happen.

So no gays and no fats. More specifically no fat gays. Or gay fats. Especially if they’re married. Or want to be. No news yet on how he feels about marrying fats to gays. But it’s all good.

@Benedick: Is there any reason to believe it won’t be a front for a gay massage parlor?

@Benedick: So gay marriage is the moral equivalent of getting fat? Does that mean that L.A. Angels manager Mike Scoscia is gay?

@Dodgerblue: Yes and he is marrying Santa.

@Dodgerblue: If we’d all try harder we wouldn’t be fat. It’s a moral failing. Same with gay. If we’d all try harder none of us would have to be gay. Except maybe Catt.

@FlyingChainSaw: AKA Tax exemption.

@Benedick:

I think it is fair to note that this shift in consciousness, though it seems small and almost laughable to us, is huge for this man. I’ve always viewed him as more to be pitied than despised, and while he parroted the party line on teh gay, I never saw him be hateful or mean-spirited about it. A hypocrite, sure, but this is a kind of redemption. I wouldn’t be surprised if God sent him a revelation in the next few years and his church started performing gay marriage. It does happen…

@Benedick:

Hmph. I take that as a compliment.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I wish I shared your belief in the possibilities for human redemption. You are a better man that I am.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Of course it’s a compliment.

I don’t agree about this man, though. I think he personally did huge damage when he was on the phone to the White House and advising Bush. Perhaps he’ll be a little better now. He could hardly be worse.

I’d actually been hoping that he was going to announce that he was gay-marrying Al Gore. But no such luck.

@Dodgerblue:

You make me blush, Dodger, for you are a fine man indeed, and have many qualities that I aspire to.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: “I know there is good in you, the Emperor hasn’t driven it from you fully.”

@redmanlaw: Is that Camus or Gladiator?

@Benedick: Luke to his dad in “Return of the Jedi”.

@Benedick:

I’m sure Ted will be available to the young gay members of his church for plenty of Rekers-style “gospel sharing” to try and sort them out. :)

@redmanlaw: Same thing.

@Benedick: “Jar Jar Binks *is* ‘The Stranger’!”

@redmanlaw: No, good Lord. He wrote the play. Caligula It’s all deeply existential. About how we all don’t love our mothers enough. Or whip our boyfriends like we should. Except for Newt Gingrinch. In which case – Back off bitch.

@Benedick: This one?

Stupid foreign link. You can google up caligula film “daily mail” to read the article

@redmanlaw: Even the Daily Mail wouldn’t allow my eyes to peruse that sick and twisted linque. As to the play let me just say: Gauloise; garlic; cheap red wine; Camembert: lying on a pallet avec one’s actorine trying not to throw up.

@Benedick: Actually, we have the scoop on this awhile ago:

http://www.stinque.com/2009/11/07/ted-haggard-turning-to-god-to-get-money-for-methamphetamine-and-hot-gay-sex/